Marty - Autistic?!

Well, they proved me wrong.  I didn't think they could do it, but they did it.  His school psychologist has diagnosed him as Autistic, with secondary Hyperactivity issues.

Marty.

My brilliant, brilliant boy.  I thought I had dodged the bullet with this one.  My NeuroTypical boy... isn't.  I am defeated.  Deflated.  Hollow and aching.  I live with Ellie.  I know Autism.  How can the two even be compared?  All of his scores on the achievement tests were "Very Superior" or "Superior."  His teacher noted that he "is a very intelligent, creative child."  He might skip second grade and go straight into the Gifted "REACH 3/4" class.  He is already doing second grade course work on the computer in his first grade class because his learning outpaces everyone else's.  "He is described as very empathetic."  He is the most popular kid in his class, and possibly the most popular in his grade (of five classes)!  "He is a high level thinker who seems to function in his own world."  Is "Autism Spectrum Disorder" the new label for "Gifted"?

Gifted kids are different.  We're weird.  We can't help it.  We're wired funny.  Why does he have to be Autistic?  I should let them keep Ellie for a day - THEN they would know Autism!  Gifted kids don't fit in.  They're goats among the sheep - similar, but not quite the same.

Ellie and Marty are not alike.  There's a family joke that one never talks and the other never stops.  Marty is a social butterfly, Ellie is a loner.  Marty MUST have attention, Ellie hides in her room to avoid attention.  Marty has friends, and he plays with them!  Ellie doesn't play except for tickles or shaking rattles.  She won't even play tickles with Marty.

My eyes keep filling, but I'm too sad for tears.  Why does this hurt so much?  I want to scream "Not fair!"  Not my boy, too.

I spoke to one of the lead therapists at Ellie's school and she said that Marty may be social now, and the most popular, but that as he ages a gap will grow between him and his peers socially.  He won't mature at the same rate as his peers (hello, Gifted kid stuff).  It's not that he'll withdraw, he'll just be left behind, different.

My boy.  My joy.

Sometimes I think God laughs at me.