Today was the Case Conference for Marty and the development of his Individual Education Plan (IEP). It is the school psychologist's, behavioral analyst's, and communication specialist's opinion that Marty has Autism, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), and Attention Deficits Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). It is also their opinion that he is the most brilliant child they've ever met. They really did say wonderful things about him, about what a joy he is and how much he brings to the school and other kids. It was just hard to hear their diagnosis. Right now they're going to refer him for an Occupational Therapy evaluation, which is fine with me. At least they were smart enough not to mention medication! Otherwise, it's business as usual.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Silly Boy
The same boy who watches The Walking Dead with no ill effects watched The Adventures of Ronald McDonald: Scared Silly, and I have spent the past 45 mins rocking and comforting him because IT WAS TOO SCARY!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Marty - Autistic?!
Well, they proved me wrong. I didn't think they could do it, but they did it. His school psychologist has diagnosed him as Autistic, with secondary Hyperactivity issues.
Marty.
My brilliant, brilliant boy. I thought I had dodged the bullet with this one. My NeuroTypical boy... isn't. I am defeated. Deflated. Hollow and aching. I live with Ellie. I know Autism. How can the two even be compared? All of his scores on the achievement tests were "Very Superior" or "Superior." His teacher noted that he "is a very intelligent, creative child." He might skip second grade and go straight into the Gifted "REACH 3/4" class. He is already doing second grade course work on the computer in his first grade class because his learning outpaces everyone else's. "He is described as very empathetic." He is the most popular kid in his class, and possibly the most popular in his grade (of five classes)! "He is a high level thinker who seems to function in his own world." Is "Autism Spectrum Disorder" the new label for "Gifted"?
Gifted kids are different. We're weird. We can't help it. We're wired funny. Why does he have to be Autistic? I should let them keep Ellie for a day - THEN they would know Autism! Gifted kids don't fit in. They're goats among the sheep - similar, but not quite the same.
Ellie and Marty are not alike. There's a family joke that one never talks and the other never stops. Marty is a social butterfly, Ellie is a loner. Marty MUST have attention, Ellie hides in her room to avoid attention. Marty has friends, and he plays with them! Ellie doesn't play except for tickles or shaking rattles. She won't even play tickles with Marty.
My eyes keep filling, but I'm too sad for tears. Why does this hurt so much? I want to scream "Not fair!" Not my boy, too.
I spoke to one of the lead therapists at Ellie's school and she said that Marty may be social now, and the most popular, but that as he ages a gap will grow between him and his peers socially. He won't mature at the same rate as his peers (hello, Gifted kid stuff). It's not that he'll withdraw, he'll just be left behind, different.
My boy. My joy.
Sometimes I think God laughs at me.
Marty.
My brilliant, brilliant boy. I thought I had dodged the bullet with this one. My NeuroTypical boy... isn't. I am defeated. Deflated. Hollow and aching. I live with Ellie. I know Autism. How can the two even be compared? All of his scores on the achievement tests were "Very Superior" or "Superior." His teacher noted that he "is a very intelligent, creative child." He might skip second grade and go straight into the Gifted "REACH 3/4" class. He is already doing second grade course work on the computer in his first grade class because his learning outpaces everyone else's. "He is described as very empathetic." He is the most popular kid in his class, and possibly the most popular in his grade (of five classes)! "He is a high level thinker who seems to function in his own world." Is "Autism Spectrum Disorder" the new label for "Gifted"?
Gifted kids are different. We're weird. We can't help it. We're wired funny. Why does he have to be Autistic? I should let them keep Ellie for a day - THEN they would know Autism! Gifted kids don't fit in. They're goats among the sheep - similar, but not quite the same.
Ellie and Marty are not alike. There's a family joke that one never talks and the other never stops. Marty is a social butterfly, Ellie is a loner. Marty MUST have attention, Ellie hides in her room to avoid attention. Marty has friends, and he plays with them! Ellie doesn't play except for tickles or shaking rattles. She won't even play tickles with Marty.
My eyes keep filling, but I'm too sad for tears. Why does this hurt so much? I want to scream "Not fair!" Not my boy, too.
I spoke to one of the lead therapists at Ellie's school and she said that Marty may be social now, and the most popular, but that as he ages a gap will grow between him and his peers socially. He won't mature at the same rate as his peers (hello, Gifted kid stuff). It's not that he'll withdraw, he'll just be left behind, different.
My boy. My joy.
Sometimes I think God laughs at me.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The Promise
When my now 10 year old daughter was, at only 18 months old, diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, I hit a depression so dark it truly horrifies me today. Thank you, God, for Paxil and therapy!
My therapist was a Christian Lady, and one day we were discussing my anger with God. She asked if I felt like He'd broken a promise to me, and I said yes.
Then she said, "But He didn't. He's keeping His promise. He never promised that life would be good, or easy. In fact, He promised that it would be hard, thorns and brambles, that we would have to work and struggle for everything on this Earth. This is the Devil's playground, and it is ugly, mean, and hard. Life will only be easy and good in Heaven - THAT'S the promise. Here we have to just learn to cope and adapt. Bad things are going to happen, even to babies."
That has stuck with me all this time, and it continues to help.
My therapist was a Christian Lady, and one day we were discussing my anger with God. She asked if I felt like He'd broken a promise to me, and I said yes.
Then she said, "But He didn't. He's keeping His promise. He never promised that life would be good, or easy. In fact, He promised that it would be hard, thorns and brambles, that we would have to work and struggle for everything on this Earth. This is the Devil's playground, and it is ugly, mean, and hard. Life will only be easy and good in Heaven - THAT'S the promise. Here we have to just learn to cope and adapt. Bad things are going to happen, even to babies."
That has stuck with me all this time, and it continues to help.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Camping In
Ellie has the flu. I'm making a pallet out of couch cushions so I can sleep on her floor because she hasn't got the sense God gave a goose about throwing up. She'll drown! She'll lay on her back and do it, then lay there and panic instead of rolling over. I live in terror of her aspirating it, and our bedroom is just too far from hers. I'm afraid I wouldn't hear her. So I'm camping in.
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