If Wishes Were Fishes...

Lord, I wish You had given me the opportunity to know my daughter. Marty was on a "just like you" kick tonight at bedtime, you know, "my eyes are just like yours," "I believe in magic, just like you," etc. He stumped me when he said, "But who is Sissy like, you or Daddy?"

I quickly recovered and answered, "She's like both of us, just like you."

But would she have been? Would she have my love of myth and magic, or been more concrete like Daddy? Who would she have been? For that matter, who is she? Does she like horses, like I did at her age? Who is locked away in that tower called "Ellie"? And Lord, why didn't You let me know her?

First Family Movie Night

Tonight was the first Brumback Family Movie Night, and I think it was a success! We watched "Krull," ate puffcorn (kernelless popcorn), and ordered pizza. Ellie came in and out, ate with us, and even sat on the couch for a while to watch part of the movie.

Geoff and I have made a list of movies, mostly from the 80s, that we feel helped define and contribute to our lifelong geekiness, things like "Krull," "The Neverending Story," "Labyrinth," all the Star Wars and Star Trek movies, older creature features like "The Blob" and "Them," classics like "War of the Worlds" and "The Time Machine" - I better stop listing, there are 214 movies on the list already! We have some and keep an eye out for the others. (I forgot to list superhero movies and comic book hero movies.)

Last weekend while out to celebrate my birthday Geoff and I decided to make Saturday nights in the Brumback household Family Movie Night. We weren't sure how Ellie would take to it, but she did well. Marty was a total squirrel, but he could use the "sit still and be quiet" lessons for Kindergarten this fall. All in all, I'm pleased!

WHOOO-HOOOO!

Ellie JUST COVERED HERSELF UP WITH A BLANKET!!!!! Eight years! Eight years we've been trying to teach her to cover herself up! Hand-over-hand, demonstration, direction, pictures... I didn't think she'd ever do it! I thought she had some mental block / aversion / something to covering herself up, but SHE JUST DID IT! WOOT!!! Just did it on her own like it was no big deal, and grinned at me, little minx!

Yes, this is my life, people. I literally cheered and jumped off my seat for joy because my eight year old covered herself up with a blanket.

WHOOO-HOOOO!!!!!

New Goal: Journaling

I have been inspired by a friend of mine from work, Kim. You see, Kim's husband has three cancerous tumors in his brain, and the best hope the doctors could offer, with intense treatment, is three to five years. She has started a website at Colespages.com to keep family and friends abreast of her husband's condition. I checked out Cole's story, a day-to-day log of a three-year-old's life, and death, written by his parents. One of his parents wrote something every day, even if it was just a line or two. Cole died unexpectedly just eight weeks after his cancer diagnosis. The journal, his parents have written since, helps keep their memories vibrant and puts dates to his "I love you to the moon and back"s. I said to another coworker, also a friend of Kim's, that I didn't know how she functioned every day with that shadow looming over her life. Our friend said, "Why not? You live with that shadow every day, every time you get behind the wheel, or even breathe. We're all going to die."

Intellectually, I know this, but hearing it caused a visceral reaction. I guess I want a written record of days, too - just in case, just because. So, my goal is to write something every day, even if it's short and sweet.

Like today, Marty cracked me up when he said, "Mommy, I accidentally had an accident, accidentally." Or yesterday when Ellie popped a balloon unexpectedly. She looked at that popped balloon and her lip pooched out and she was just so dang cute I wanted to laugh (but I didn't, I comforted her like a good mommy). It reminded me of when she was wee-bitty and pouted like that, with her little lip out far enough for a bird to perch. Grammy would tell her she'd have to be a lot less cute if she ever wanted to get anything (meaning we'd deny her just to see the cuteness). Lord she was cute last night. I probably shouldn't find my child's broken hearted pout cute, but I do! You would, too, if you saw it.

So, that's that. That's my goal. We'll see if I can meet it.

Watching Ellie Sleep

I would not trade the beautiful, innocent perfection of this child for a world full of NeuroTypical children.

Family Christmas 2010

Ellie was amazing! We had 42 people in one house, and she didn’t have a single meltdown! In fact, she ran around with her cousins, sat in aunts’ and uncles’ laps, loved and snuggled everybody, and even sat down and ate (well, finger foods) at the kids’ table! Thank God for ABA! A few years ago I thought that holidays would never be like this. I prayed for this. It was only a few years ago that Christmas meant screaming, biting, and clawing. Now it’s love and laughter! Happy tears.

Wanted: A Home

Wanted: a home for a precious & beloved adolescent kitten - Itty. He was born, feral, in spring. Hubby spent all summer & fall taming him, & now he's as tame & loving as if he'd been hand-reared. He loves the kids, they love him, he uses the litterbox, he's fine w/our adult cat - but Obi isn't fine w/him. She growls & hisses at him constantly. I'll pay for neutering, & declawing if you want that. We just need him to have a good home where he can be loved & cherished.

UPDATE: Itty went to live with my Grammy!