"That Parent"

As I drove home today with Marty's class hamster, having somehow agreed to keep him for the summer, I realized that I was now "that parent." When did I become "that parent"?

"Mom" and "Dad," No More "-y"

Somewhere in the past couple of weeks, Geoff and I have become "Mom" and "Dad" instead of "Mommy" and "Daddy."

It's not just Marty, either - Ellie is also calling us "Mom" and "Dad" if it isn't in a phrase (like when she wants to go somewhere and says "Mommy's car").

They've both been testing out the new names for a couple of months now, getting the taste of them. Every so often they'd throw out a "Mom" and "Dad" and see what happened, maybe to see if we were offended.

Lately it had become more frequent, but in the last couple of weeks it became a constant.

Just one more sign that my babies are growing up. I didn't realize how much I would miss being "Mommy."

Family Movie Night, at the Movies!

Today we were very brave. For the first time, ever, we all four went to see a movie together! We went to see Iron Man 3, Ellie included.

It went great! Ellie watched the whole movie, never tried to get up, and no fussing even when it was LOUD. She LOVED the action scenes! She was perfectly content with her pop and popcorn.

Marty was of course enthralled by Iron Man on the big screen. He was awesome and shared popcorn with his big sister.

Altogether an amazing Family Movie Night!

Watching Her Sleep - Night Thoughts

I know better than to watch Ellie sleep.  It always leads to the "what if" and "if only" thoughts.  She is so beautiful.  Pale skin with a light dusting of golden freckles on her cheekbones, rose pink lips, dark lashes that go on for miles, and beneath those silken lids are her storm-blue eyes.  She is radiant.  She is ethereal.  She'll make your heart ache just to look at her, sleeping with that Mona Lisa smile.  She should have been everything she wanted to be.  She should have had the chance to rule the world.  She should have climbed mountains, or danced the fandango, or just painted her nails and gossiped with friends.  But here we are, with her trapped inside that beautiful prison, sometimes peering out the windows.  A million "whys" and zero answers.

Ellie is 10 years old.  I want to let her be a tween.  She wants to be a tween.  She wants the same rights and privileges afforded to her seven-year-old brother, but sometimes she just has no sense.  Marty goes to the fridge and gets what he wants.  He's allowed.  If it's something he can't open, he brings it to us and we open it.  Ellie goes to the fridge and we automatically tell her to close it (if it isn't locked - Marty has a bad habit of leaving it unlocked).  Well, I usually ask her what she wants, even though I know she isn't going to answer me.  There's this kernel of hope every time, though, that she'll reply.  So I keep asking.

Lately she's been bringing me things she wants opened, like the pickles (she loves pickles).  She comes running with the jar saying, "Pickles!  Pickles, pickles!"  I open the jar and hand her baby pickles until she's tired of them or the jar is empty.  I love that she can get the pickles and bring them to me to open.  I try to let her grow up.  I hate having to tell her no when she can communicate what she wants, like a pop at bedtime.  "Coke!  Coke!"  "No Coke, it's bedtime."  "Coke!  Coke!"  "Nope, bedtime."

Marty is talking in his sleep right now.  Something about a bird and a fence.

I hate that we lock the fridge.  It's easier than cleaning up the mess later when we find it, or having to throw out food because it was left out or the fridge door was left open.  But I still hate it.  I want to let Ellie be as responsible and mature as Ellie can be.  It's just so hard to step back and see what happens, especially when it goes wrong.  Like the sinks.

Ellie loves water.  Ellie absolutely loses her head over water.  This includes the sinks.  We have a lock on the kitchen sink, and the bathroom doors require a key to get in.  Ellie can make the biggest mess in the least amount of time imaginable when given access to a sink.  She ends up soaked from chin to knees, with collateral damage all over the floors, cabinets, and anything else nearby, in less than five minutes.  Whatever toy she has handy goes under the faucet, regardless of type.  Stuffed animal - great!  Those hold water so well, and she can suck on them after getting caught.  Remote control?  Sure!  She doesn't get that water will ruin it.  How could water do anything bad?  None of her toys handy?  Grab the dog's toys, soak them, and suck on them.  Oh yes, it happens.  In a heart beat.  SQUICK!

This is part of why she's still in diapers.  I think she would potty train, but she can't or won't consistently tell me when she needs to go.  So, theoretically, I should leave the bathroom unlocked for her to be able to go when she needs, in case she can't communicate right then and let me know.  But there's a sink in there.  Even better, there's a BATHTUB in there!  Oh yeah, fully clothed, shoes and all, in the bath.  It's happened more than once.  So the bathroom is locked, and Ellie is in diapers.  Sometimes she fibs and tells me "potty" but as soon as we get in the bathroom she says, "Bath!  Bath!" and "potty no."  "Bath" is her all-time favorite activity.  I need a water-closet with just a toilet!

Just like that it's 3am, and I need to sleep.  I just couldn't rest until I wrote a little, though.  Watching her sleep always pricks my heart.  I can't begin to express the immensity of my love for these two kids.  They don't make words big enough in any language to share the tiniest sliver of how much I love them.  They're why I live.